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Potty Training

There are many different methods for potty training children.

Each method is popular for different reasons, but the important thing to remember when doing your homework is that you must identify which method and suggestions work best for your child.

There are core strategies most methods share, but one size does not fit all when it comes to potty training.

Children grow and develop at different rates. If you have more than one chid, it can be shocking how different each child, is in spite of the consistency in parenting style.

When potty training children, choosing the right method can be the key to success. You want to train your child so you can ditch the diaper, hit the potty seat and smile at the success of your parenting.

Here are three ideas to remember in the process.

  1. Inch by inch. Capitalize on your child’s desire to learn and grow.  Reading books related to toilet training as a family, picking out the potty seat  and underwear together reinforces the process and goal in mind.
  2. Unnecessary Pressure. Don’t put unnecessary pressure on your child to succeed.  If your child is afraid of the seat or toilet, let him sit on it fully clothed daily for a few minutes, then work towards taking the diaper off so he can sit like Mom and Dad. This is a journey, not an event. Part of the process is introduction and planning for pre-training. Children need to feel as though they are part of the process, rather than thrown into the situation with the expectation that he will do exactly what he is suppose to after you read a couple of books and buy the potty seat and underwear.
  3. Maintain hyperbolic excitement when potty training. Children desire our approval and this is a motivating tool to use when potty training. However, keep it real because you aren’t going to be able to maintain the confetti throwing party and treat train every time. Praise genuinely and give your child a moment to admire his success to promote the pride you both feel.
  4. Approval and Praise. Nobody wants to be a failure. It is job one to ensure that your response is not visibly exasperated, frustrated, or punitive when your child makes a mistake.  Replace saying, “That’s not right or you missed again” with “We will try again, mistakes happen.” This keeps the child encouraged and teaches mistakes are part of learning.
  5. Combat of the wills and will not. Oppositional behavior is sometimes a part of potty training children, as developmentally that is where many children are at behaviorally. This is because they are discovering their independence and the power of their own will. Do not get into a power struggle about going potty. You will lose every time and be frustrated beyond belief. If you minimize the issue in front of your child then you are making it apparent that the training is for him, not you. The power is in being tenacious and consistently providing the opportunities until success is achieved.

There is nothing more satisfying than seeing your child take his steps no matter what they are.

Remember, you are your child’s first teacher.

It is the encouragement and safety net we provide when potty training children that allows them to make mistakes and propel their achievement in whatever goals we set together.

Potty Training Power…AWAY!!!

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This is a helpful list of the best potty training practices, mostly in regards of what NOT to do while potty training.

Use the following list to do your potty training best!

Don’t Rely on Pull-Ups

Get your child out of the diaper and away from unneeded complacency. Modern diapers are so thick and absorbent, many children simply soak in the moist and warm sensation without nearly enough awareness.

When your child is in underwear, they know the second an accident occurs. This step is paramount.  If your child doesnʼt know better, you simply cannot expect them to do better. In the beginning, have your child eliminate prior to bedtime, with perhaps a pull-up only while sleeping. It is best to use parental discretion.

For example, while at a birthday party, you might want to put underwear on over a pull-up, but you should still explain things to your child. Tell them that you still expect them to remain dry, but you are putting on a pull-up “just in case.”

Potty Train best by eliminating the safety net.

Don’t Expect Too Much Too Soon

Potty training is a milestone in your childʼs life. Much like many of the other milestones they’ll face, it will probably not be reached in a single day, even though the results will last forever.

Remember when your child was first learning to walk?Of course you expected a few bumps and bruises. Potty training isn’t too different.

It is better for both your child and sanity if you do not enter the potty training experience with unreasonable expectations. The best potty training treats it like the process it is.

Don’t Nag

If thereʼs a sure road to getting your child to ignore you, it is through constant nagging.

If there’s a way to best potty train, it’s certainly without the nagging. We have all been a part of the nag/withdrawal cycle. Our toddlers aren’t any different, only smaller.

Rather than nag your child with commands such as, “Go to the bathroom,” you will likely see superior results by making suggestions such as, “Iʼm going to the bathroom now. Why donʼt we go together?” Donʼt ask a toddler if they need to go potty, as they will often say no. Tell them it is time.

Don’t Use the Changing Table

Some may disagree that this is best for potty training. Trust us, it is.

From the moment your child can stand on their own two feet, the changing table should be a memory. Standing upright during a diaper change encourages awareness and validates ability.

Once you are done changing your child, they can help you flush their excrement while you explain the procedure.

Reward – Don’t Overindulge

Overindulgence is an easy trap to fall in. In the beginning, you will probably feel so happy your child is using the potty, you might find yourself piling reward upon reward. Teaching your child basic responsibility, however, should not include a tax.

Use caution if you find yourself upon this slippery slope.

Don’t Lose Your Temper

It is best when potty training to always keep your tone in check and never raise your voice.

Slip away to another room and rant if need be, but keep in mind that potty training is a process and you should handle accidents in stride. Do not make your child sit in their waste for an undue length of time in order to teach them a lesson. This is humiliating and will only foster anger and resentment.

Best of luck with your best potty training!

Potty Training Power…AWAY!!!

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Read the following twelve potty training methods to ensure that you are on your way to potty training success.

These are the major potty training DO’s!

Potty Training Method #1
Read up. Learning from the experience of others will help you prepare your own toddler.

It may feel like youʼre the first one to ever go through the trials of toilet training, but the endless anecdotes of others will tell you that youʼre not alone.

Potty Training Method #2
Demonstrate. Use every opportunity to model your most desired behavior. Every time a parent must use the restroom is another teachable moment. This is especially true when it comes to the same sex parent. Teaching begins with our words, but seeing is always more effective than simply hearing. Use appropriate and easy to understand language such as, “Weʼre going to use the restroom now” whenever it is time to transition.

Potty Training Method #3
Create autonomy. Empower your toddler by letting them teach a favorite action figure or doll the same life skill that they themselves are expected to learn. This will give them ownership and fuel their natural desire for performance and parental validation.

Potty Training Method #4
Choose your vocabulary. Choose your words with care. It is unfair if you do not explain your purpose before piling it high with expectation. Not only does your child deserve to have things explained, they are far more likely to succeed when you do. However, the language you use will be the language they use. If you would like for your child to tell his or her dolly that it is time to go #2 rather than caca, you must be the one to set that example.

Potty Training Method #5
Make the restroom a routine.  Consistency is important.  Most of us have learned to ignore the tick and tock of our own internal timepiece, but children are still exceedingly aware. Design potty breaks during regular transition times while staying consistent with the timer and you will find your child falling into a natural pattern sooner rather than later.

Potty Training Method #6
Listen to their body. Like thirst or hunger, elimination is a physical need. You must monitor your child’s liquids and account for minutes lapsed. Have your child attempt elimination every twenty to thirty minutes until they find their own natural rhythm.

Potty Training Method #7
Switch from diapers to training pants. Empower your child, they are no longer a baby.  Send them a clear message that it is time to graduate, and include them in the process as much as possible. It will be far easier to get your child excited about getting into underwear and ditching their diaper when the move is decisive. All training pants and clothing should be easy to slip up and down by the wearer without assistance, placing greater control in the toddler’s hands, and improving the odds of getting to the restroom on time. Remember, empowerment and independence are the ultimate aim.  After all, isn’t that what a temper tantrum is all about, control and the “I can do it by myself” feeling that every toddler invariably feels?

Potty Training Method #8
Motivate. Discuss the habits of older friends and relatives and help your child to make the connections between their new skills and the daily actions of others around them. Accentuate the many positive gains of losing the diaper. Wearing underwear is a road leading to bigger and better adventures. Once your child truly understand this, it will be far easy to move forward fast.

Potty Training Method #9
Reward your child with praise and encouragement. Celebrate every effort, but reward your child without fail whenever successful elimination occurs. You can sing their favorite song, give them a sticker for their chart, or get them on the phone with their favorite larger than life character. Our daughter phoned Barney while our son preferred Santa, but both were able to feel the immediate results of their effort.

Potty Training Method #10
Teach hygiene. Wiping from front to back, flushing, and being responsible for your own waste are all learned behaviors. It is up to us to teach these things to our child, and there is no better time than right in the beginning.

Potty Training Method #11
Explain your approach to your caretaker. If your child cannot be with you during all daylight hours, then it is in your best interests to articulate your plan and associated needs to whoever is watching. Caretakers should reinforce your effort rather than dilute your progress.

Potty Training Method #12
Exhibit patience. Relapses will happen, and you cannot always expect a command performance from your child. Keep your eyes and ears open for signals, constantly search for patterns, and understand that potty training is a process, not an event.

Next time we’ll cover a few potty training don’ts.

Potty Training Power…AWAY!!!

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Gathering the right potty training steps, prior to starting potty training is essential to starting off on the right foot.

Here is a list of potty training steps to help get you started with those potty training procedures that will help you best.

Proper Potty Training Steps

Potty Training Step #1
At the earliest possible time, start standing behind your child as you are changing them rather than laying them on a diaper changer. Going to the bathroom is about taking care of business, save the playtime and jokes for afterward. By making the process clinical rather than fun and games, you will be making the evolution far more natural for your child. When it is time to ask them to use the potty, they will be far more likely to walk without pause and sit.

Potty Training Step #2
Establish the connection between their personal potty chair and the family toilet.  Your child will soon graduate to dumping waste on their own. For now, celebrate the small step of moving the waste from their little potty to the big big potty together.

Potty Training Step #3
Let your child come and go naturally. Never make them feel like a hostage sitting at the potty until they produce. This potty training tactic offers zero results. Your child’s will is likely strong. Tell them great job for trying even if they produce nothing. For #1 you can turn the faucet to a trickle to trigger that flowing feeling inside them. This is an oldie but goodie for a reason.

Potty Training Step #4
Once finished, prolong the victory with a quick lesson in hygiene.  Show your child how to wipe from front to back while explaining why their waste must be eliminated because it gets rid of the bacteria inside us. Proceed to the sink where you can sing ABCʼs while washing your hands together.

Phrases
Sing the Can Can Dance Song when they successfully use the potty, with the words: Hip hip hip hooray _____ went potty today.

Rather than using “good boy,” or “good girl,” use positive specific praise to recognize their behavior such as, “You did a great job going to the bathroom.”  Also, try phrases like “Your potty is waiting for you. Let’s hurry and go so we can play.”

The best potty training steps and phrases use language that is supportive rather than condemning. For example, “That’s okay accidents happen, you’ll make it. next time. Letʼs keep practicing”

Like most things worth learning, it is more important to potty train well than it is to do it swiftly.  Two to three times in a row is a success, two to three days a celebration.  Two to three weeks is a victory.

In an upcoming post, we’ll move beyond potty training steps to discuss a few daily potty training routines. Until then….

Potty Training Power…AWAY!!!

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How do you know when it is the right time to start potty training your child?

Potty training readiness isn’t always clear.

Deciding when, and how to move our wee ones from diapers to freedom is something every parent must eventually face.

The common timeframe offered by experts is somewhere between 18 months and 3 years of age, though age is never as relevant as potty training readiness.

  • If your child can tell you about their dirty diaper, they are probably ready.
  • If your child can articulate their need to be clean, they are probably ready.
  • If you can have a conversation about potty training with your child, they have already been ready a while.

Toilet training might be the first major chasm we cross as parents. It involves us as much as them, delivers them from one era to the next, and must be driven by careful, consistent and considerate thought.

Learning to use the restroom isn’t just about losing the diaper, it is also about gaining personal responsibility.

When we allow our children to stay in diapers after we know they are capable of doing otherwise simply because they do not wish to take their next step, or because it is more convenient for us, then we are allowing them to make the rules and setting a poor precedent at too early an age.

Worse than bypassing potty training readiness, we are teaching our little one that weʼre comfortable with the idea of cleaning up after them, until they decide different.

We know what youʼre thinking —  “But my daughterʼs only two.” That may be true, but sheʼll soon be four, then six… then sixteen. Right now, sheʼs learning who she is and the early years are paramount.

For some children potty training is effortless, as easy as slipping vegetables into their mac and cheese. For others, potty training is a trying time when our little spawn will heavily assert their will.

This difficulty cannot detour us. Remember, itʼs called potty training.  We may have a little extra laundry, and a load of extra conflict, but the battle is relatively short, and the aftermath will leave your child (as well as yourself) stronger than ever before.

This is all pragmatic, yet perfectly practical parents seem to lose all perspective when it comes to searching for potty training readiness signs.

Itʼs delicate. Either we hedge because of the anticipated difficulty, or we allow fear to paralyze our momentum, afraid of the damage to our child’s psyche if we push too hard or too fast.

As far as cerebral ruin, weʼre not suggesting anyone wrap their child in chains until they can properly eliminate. We are simply saying that it is important to honestly observe our children to search signs of potty training readiness for it is us who know them best.

Once you feel confident your child understands what is happening (and what they are supposed to do), and you are comfortable that their bodies are capable of getting the job done, you mustn’t stand idle and allow your child to make messes without accountability.

Potty training doesn’t begin when you finally decide to grit your teeth and buy a couple dozen pair of underwear.  It is an awareness that should be woven into conversation from the changing table forward.  If approached with the proper measure of communication and warmth, potty training will be a positive and empowering experience for all involved.

Children develop at different speeds and there is no single shining moment that burns brighter than the others. You can set your child up for the greatest success by starting their toilet training at the most appropriate time.

Though the verbal and emotional parts of potty training should begin at the earliest opportunity, there are a few particular skills your child should have before moving on to the more physical part.

Make sure your child can do the following:

  • Sit down without support
  • Run or walk fast
  • Pull his or her pants up without assistance
  • Provide a verbal or visual cue to let you know they need to go potty.

If your child has difficulty with any of the above, a wee bit of practice will get them going. Again, fun is the name of the game.

Run around with your child outside. Chase birds and butterflies, make sure to use prompts such as, “Let’s go,” that precede the action. Teach your child to pull their pants up and down by themselves and be mindful of the behavior displayed prior to elimination.

  • Does your child assume a certain position?
  • Does your child make any particular sounds?
  • Does your child’s face turn red?
  • Does your child retreat to a specific location?

Once you are sure your child has achieved potty training readiness, it’s time to move on to the next step: potty training preparation.

Potty Training Power…AWAY!!!

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Infant toilet training is something that is widely misunderstood in America.

For the next four posts, we’re going to explore many of the misconceptions and misinformation that surrounds the subject.

Welcome to part three of The Truth About Infant Toilet Training. Click here for part one, here for part two, and here for part three.

So far we’ve discussed the differences in global perception with infant toilet training. Today we’ll discuss some of the more distinct advantages to the practice.

A potty trained infant is often spared the suffering of diaper rash and will never need to sit in their own mess while waiting for mommy or daddy to clean them. This will allow them to develop fewer (if any) issues with constipation or urinary tract infections.

Compared to contemporary American practice, the of infant toilet training seems downright genius. Old tradition has seen potty training starting at an age where children are too young to question rather than at around the two year mark, when a child’s will is ready to peak. Teaching them anything at that point seems to adopt a difficulty of its own.

Another phenomenal benefit behind infant toilet training is teaching letting go rather than holding back. Letting go is a wonderful lesson to teach your child from the very beginning, not only with infant potty training but for a well lived life in general.

In addition to the bond between baby and parent will be naturally enhanced due to the parents need to pick up the subtle cues of their child’s thought. The parent must learn to observe the warning signs that their baby will invariably make prior to elimination, and the baby must learn how to signal their parent.

Observing the cues of your child’s intuition will allow an early toilet training parent to fall in perfect step with their child’s natural rhythm.

It is a wonderful thing to view your child as a little person with their own thoughts and abilities. Your infant can show you what they’re capable of. Some signals include: growing quiet, starting hiccups, rubbing noses, scratching feet, kicking, shivering, or feeling warm to the touch.

Fathers, who can’t bare, deliver, or nurse their child, can sometimes take the lead in this early toilet training adventure.

No matter the age of your child is, they are never too young for potty training exposure. Infant toilet training may be the answer.

If you would like information or help getting your infant potty trained, we are always here to help. Leave a question in the comments on the Ask Dr. Potty page and we’ll answer it as soon as we see it.

Potty Training Power…AWAY!!!

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Elimination Communication is a method of potty training that is widely misunderstood in America.

For the next four posts, we’re going to explore many of the misconceptions and misinformation that surrounds the subject.

Welcome to part three of Understanding Elimination Communication. Click here for part one and here for part two.

So far in the series we’ve discussed the differences in global mentality in regard to elimination communication and toilet training between America and the rest of the world.

Read on.

More than 50% of the world’s children are potty trained prior to their first birthday.

So what are we missing?

From birth forward, infants are aware of their body’s need to eliminate. While it is true that muscle control is not yet fully developed, an infant can still learn to release upon simple command.

By relying on thick and absorbent disposable diapers, today’s average American parent is merely teaching their baby to ignore the otherwise obvious signs of elimination.

This adds unneeded difficulty to eventual potty training.

Ingrid Bauer, well recognized author of the book, “Diaper Free! The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene,” believes the optimum time to pull the trigger on toilet training is within the baby’s first six months.

In order to start elimination communication, the baby must be held by their thighs (comfortably) in a seated position against their stomach. It’s part of an infant’s instinct not to go to the bathroom on themselves. A parent can play into this natural instinct by positioning them over the potty at the appropriate time and encouraging them to make the natural hisses and grunts that sometimes accompany elimination.

Communication is of course required on the part of the parents, as they must learn to observe their child’s natural rhythm. Some parents elect to keep their child in the same bed with them, with the potty at arm’s length, so they may attend to their child’s needs whenever required.

No it isn’t easy, but yes it may be worth it. Consider the many advantages of elimination communication.

Families able to successfully potty train their infants will save thousands of dollars on diapers. Not only is this a boon to the family bank account, it is a tremendous benefit to the environment.

Each year American landfills are over crowded with 22 billion disposable diapers!

A potty trained infant will also be spared the suffering of diaper rash, never need sit in their own mess while waiting for mommy or daddy to clean them, and develop fewer (if any) issues with constipation or urinary tract infections.

In the next installment of Elimination Communication, we’ll finish our thoughts and leave you with a bit to ponder.

Potty Training Power…AWAY!!!

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Infant potty training is something that is widely misunderstood in America.

For the next four posts, we’re going to explore many of the misconceptions and misinformation surrounding the subject.

Welcome to part two of The Truth About Infant Potty Training. Click here for part one.

In the first part of our four part series, we discussed the inherent difficulties in waiting to start potty training.

Getting your child to see things your way becomes exponentially harder as they grow older.

Why wait?
Why make it harder for yourself or your child?
Why continue to change diapers day after day, year upon unnecessary year?
Why continue flushing money down the toilet with the expense of diapers, when you could be flushing your child’s pee and poo?

Potty training infants could be the answer.

The United States is now witnessing a growing trend to embrace the infant potty training principles already displayed by much of the world. Thousands of people across the nation are currently joining or have already joined Internet news groups and e-mail lists that allow them to discover all they can about infant potty training. Together these parents are learning a multiplicity of invaluable elimination communication techniques that allow them to encourage their infants to eliminate inside a toilet, sink or otherwise appropriate receptacle.

Their babies may be too young to walk or talk, but they are certainly old enough to observe and respond. Potty training infants might just be the future in America too.

One of the primary roadblocks to the widespread adoption of this early potty training method, at least within this country, is that it lies in direct opposition to the strategies articulated by the most famous child development expert of all time, Dr. Benjamin Spock.

Dr. Spock spoke the gospel for many American families throughout much of the last century, not just about potty training infants, but all manner of child rearing. His final advice on potty training said it was best to hold off until the child had demonstrated readiness on his own. Something that certainly never happens in the first year. Failure to heed this advice, according to Dr. Spock, would only lead to eventual rebellion, digression and bed wetting.

A fan of infant potty training he was not, but Dr. Spock’s theories no longer hold water after decades of distance.

Humans have potty trained their infants for thousands of years. For 99.9% of that time it was in a tribe’s best interest to get their child trained efficiently, a practice that has continued across most of the globe without the slightest bit of damage to worldwide psyche.

Relatively speaking, Dr. Spock’s school of thought itself has shown itself faulty and is perhaps an infant that needs to be trained. With infant toilet training, there is rich tradition and a wide body of knowledge, experience, and recorded data to articulate direction.

Parents in over seventy-five countries, including India and China (sharing the largest proportions of world population), wholly embrace the practice of potty training their infants. Chinese babies, for example,  are most often found in split bottom pants that allow for simple squatting and easy elimination.

These countries not only believe it is best to potty train infants early, they believe that early toilet training helps contribute to early cognition. By stoking the skill set of their children at the earliest possible age, they are adding fuel to a fire they want to burn in perpetuity.

Many parents who bring home children adopted from other countries are flabbergasted to find their “babies” welcomed into their new home fully capable, ready, and eager to use the toilet.

For those who know, this isn’t surprising. Potty training infants is little different than teaching them to nurse.

We’ll find out more in part three of The Truth About Infant Potty Training.

Potty Training Power…AWAY!!!

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The process of early Potty training is something that is widely misunderstood in America.

For the next four posts, we’re going to explore many of the misconceptions and misinformation that surrounds the subject.

Welcome to Part one of The Truth About Potty Training Early.

Phoebe Allan is an adorable seven month old baby girl. She has squishy little thighs and, like just about every other cute baby in the known world, a beautifully dimpled baby bottom.

So what’s the difference between Phoebe and most of the other infants swaddled across our 50 states?

Phoebe is wearing thin cotton underwear and can still parade about in the same clothes she wore during her first six months cooing. This is an easy fit since Phoebe doesn’t carry all the bulgy baggage hanging from the rears of her peers.

Phoebe sleeps through the night without a diaper. While the sun is shining, at intervals scattered throughout the day, her mom places her on a little plastic potty as she makes the sounds that help Phoebe identify her usual time for elimination. Together they practice potty training early.

Phoebe and her mother hale from Kismet, Maryland. This location makes the girls a bit unusual since it is rare in the United States to find families practicing the principles of potty training early.

For the majority of American parents, the idea of effectively potty training their child before they are able to walk, and well before the terrible twos, isn’t just foreign, it’s condemned, chastised and widely misunderstood.

Parents in the United States are often horrified by the idea, seeing it as an ensuing nightmare fraught with eventual psychological damage for their child.

Yet early potty training is effectively practiced throughout the world.

Here in America, things are different. Most doctors and psychologists agree, children aren’t ready to begin potty training until two years of age at the earliest. Some even say not to potty train the child at all. Rather, children should simply be allowed to toilet train themselves somewhere between the ages of four and five when they deem it most appropriate!

Yes, children could learn to read this way as well, but what’s best for their budding brains?

The methodology behind early potty training states that children are never too young to learn. Parents can start introducing the concept of elimination to their children at an early age. By doing so, it will never be foreign. Instead just another natural part of their day.

By starting potty training early, parents can teach their baby while still in the midst of their most impressionable stage. As your infant gets older, they will grow increasingly comfortable in their diaper and more firmly fixed in their ways. As months pass, the difficulty with potty training only increases. After a child develops language and compounded experience, they are able to control their environment and their situation, thus exponentially compounding the difficulty.

Start early, finish strong. We’ll explore these early potty training ideas further with part 2 of The Truth About Potty Training Early.

Potty Training Power…AWAY!!!

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We’ve pontificated plenty about poo-poo, pee-pee and everything else having to do with potty training for a little longer than three months now.

Yet in all that time, it occurred to me over the weekend, we have never once explored the world of dirty diapers outside this domain.

This is surely a mistake!

It’s high time for some potty training power links.

We all could use some potty training help. Nothing can make us feel more alone with our toilet training than going about it all alone. Getting potty training tips or advice from those who have been there before us can help us feel as though we have brothers and sisters in arms.

Here are a few recent potty training links from around the Net that might help you get started in the right direction. Just in case our Potty Training Power hasn’t been quite powerful enough.

Potty Training Links

John Rosemond says that potty training should start earlier than later…

Mommy Mo-Mo is having a complete potty training kit giveaway…

Toddler Craft wonders how potty training boys is different…

This potty training kit isn’t nearly as awesome or elegant as Potty Training Power, but it looks like colorful alternative…

This is a really sweet site from a mommy who has just started to potty train her wee-one…

Here’s a story from a mom who’s trying to keep her marbles with, “Yes, I’m still Potty Training!”

And here’s a bit of spare wear for those potty training mishaps. We all know it’s never as neat as we want it to be!

Remember, reading the experience of others can help us to understand our own. If you are potty training your toddler, whether on day one or three, check out some of these links and see if you can find something that makes you feel  a little less alone.

Potty Training Power…AWAY!!!

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