Oh No! NOT AGAIN!
Your child has been successfully potty trained for a few months. Life is liberating without the diapers, reminders and accidents.
Then it happens.
Your child regresses back to the beginning and acts as though you never introduced the potty training process in the first place. You feel like you are back to square one, frustrated, no, infuriated that the sofa has a big wet spot on it. You were not anticipating that among your many to do’s for the day!
What is going on with my child?
Resistance to the potty when already trained, or a decisive regression can not only be befuddling, it can create turmoil in the household. Rather than yell, nag, shame or punish, simply take a deep breath and start with a plan.
- Evaluate your child’s day and behaviors. Does he have consistent care with caregivers and are they being consistent with your expectations?
- Have there been any changes in schedule, house guests, moving, job changes, family changes etc. Be honest with yourself.
- How does your child react when he has a potty training accident? Is he pleased with himself or does he seem remorseful?
- Has there been a change in the school. Is there a new teacher or a new classmate that may be getting more attention?
- Is it a case of strong wills or a power struggle?
- Does your child seem to enjoy the attention even though it is negative?
The best solution is to start from the beginning, yes again. Have a heart to heart talk with your little one and ask questions. By talking about the issue you are involving your child in the potty training process and making him responsible for when he does or does not use the toilet. If you need to go back to the incentive chart because your train derailed, then do it.
Sometimes children need to feel in control and so they use resistance to toileting to assert themselves.
It seems odd they would enjoy the negative attention getting behavior, but in their minds any attention is better than zero attention. And we all know an accident gets our immediate attention. Therefore, make sure that you involve your child in the changing process in a clinical manner, praise him when he does the right thing, and be firm in communicating that this is not okay, and we that you’ll get back on track by using the chart.
The chart is tangible and a visual that makes your child accountable while keeping everything in perspective through use of a graph showing the actual number of accidents.
When your child has language, discussing the issue and your expectations is perfectly reasonable. Your child needs to be reassured that sometimes we all slip. Think about all the people who diet and vow to never put those extra pounds on again. We are human and part of that process regardless of the reason for regression needs to be addressed with a concrete plan to squelch the unwanted behavior with the successful behavior.
You can do it. We know you can!
